Mustering courage to learn again

Despite all the enthusiasm of the last post, things didn't turn out the way I expected.Life took a complicated turn and every hope seemed to be lost.

But again as a ray of hope ,one fine day in beginning of this year,I spotted a young boy lost in Kathak riyaaz at the corner outside college gym....and what a blissful sight...he was oblivious to the rest of the world ...every gesture ,every movement , however basic had a fluid grace. I watched from the side for long and proceeded to work. This began to happen quite often ... and I could feel the same old anticipation and happiness of my good old riyaaz days....

Finally, I mustered the courage to walk upto him and ask if he can spare some time to teach me.Very sweetly he agreed. And then till August we could not work out a mutually suitable time-slot for riyaaz. Suddenly he called to say that he is organizing a workshop in campus by Guru Mamata Maharaj ji(daughter of Guru Birju Maharaj ji)and would like me to sign up for the same ..and that he would teach me the basics before that.He shared that he has trained under none other than the great Maharaj ji himself of Lucknow gharana.

On 11th Aug 2015 I took my very first step back to my love.....but what a disappointment...I realized I have forgotten everything....couldn't recall any bol!Felt like tearing off my Visharad certificate out of shame...but he was very patient and said that it is ok as long as I practice dedicatedly. That night I cried and cried ...by morning I made up my mind that I would give myself a deadline of one month to see if I am making any progress ...else it was not fair wasting anyone's time.I also decided to hand over my most endeared possession---ghungroos (aah what sweet melody they chime out)to him till I start performing well enough to claim them back.He has also introduced me to another profound dancer from Jaipur Gharana...and it is a true privilege to watch and learn.

Though I am very happy to pick up the threads from where I left ...somewhere deep down there also lurks a fear of what if I have to give up all over again...not sure I can withstand the same despair all over again.I can only pray to my lord Krishna to help me ahead.